Let Me Just Pretend
by Can't Decode Me
Summary: This is the night that started all the problems for Jasper and Bella, that would ruin their friendship for a brief period of time before it only grew stronger. One shot prequel to Playing Pretend! BXJ


**Ok here you guys go as promised! Phew I managed to actually get it done today! It's 11:40 on April 24th Easter Sunday that I'm publishing it and I'm officially another year older! woohoo haha. Anyways enough about me, I hope you guys enjoy this! Please let me know what you think! This is dedicated to you guys who read PLaying Pretend form when it was first published to the very end (you know who you are) and thanks to you guys who wanted to know a little about the back story. And as always thanks rpattz (who is changing her pen name soon) for being my beta and my bestie! **

**I hope you guys enjoy. I don't own twilight. **

BPOV

God, all I want is him. He's absolutely perfect as he stands by the fridge with his muscles perfectly defined under one of his old thin tees. _I'm going to lose him_, I sighed to myself. He's already drifting away from me. He has been this whole year. This is one of the only times we've been together in a long time alone. This is the day we picked to just forget, our moms both died in this month, at separate times. My mom, Renee, died of breast cancer when we were eleven, and Jasper's mom, Louise, died when we were thirteen in a car accident. It seriously injured Jasper, and it took the lives of his mom and baby sister Maggie.

My empty beer bottle was sitting beside me as I sat on top of the kitchen counter. Jasper, with a coke in hand, came and leaned against the counter next to me. I bit my lip as I looked at his gorgeous face, I memorized the way his blue eyes changed with his attitude, and the way his blond hair falls over his eyes. His hand rested on my knee as he looked up at me.

"Is Charlie going to be mad?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Dad has the nightshift tonight, he won't even notice I'm gone."

He just nodded silently before his fingers moved slightly, inching up my thigh. I bit my lip while looking at him, "Jazz," I whispered.

He looked up at me, breaking his reverie. "Hmm?"

I leaned forward and kissed him. He was surprised at first and I almost pulled away from embarrassment but soon his lips began to move with mine. He pulled away slowly, looking me in the eye.

"Bella," he murmured as he moved to stand in front of me. If he was going to say something next I would never end up hearing it. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I kissed him again, and this time his lips were ready for mine. His arms wrapped around my waist as my legs wrapped around his. Our bodies pressed together in a sloppy rush, in attempt to cling to each other.

I bit down on his bottom lip, making him groan. That throaty noise gave me butterflies-it provoked something new in me. The sound of our lips moving together and heavy breathing was the only noise in the silent house. Jasper, who ditched all thoughts of stopping, moved his lips down my neck sucking my skin slowly and seductively. I moved slowly, sliding off the counter and grabbed Jasper's hand. My heart was almost beating out of my chest as I pulled him up the stairs toward his room.

_God, I want you forever,_ I thought as I pushed Jasper down slightly on his bed, making him sit in front of me. We stared at each other for a second before my shaking fingertips began to pull my shirt over my head, leaving me standing before him in a black Victoria Secret bra and my jeans. I watched him lick his lips as his hands pulled me close by my belt loops. His lips moved up my stomach before he surprised me by pulling me on to the bed. He hovered above me, his blue eyes caressing my body. I blushed under his gaze and he muzzled his face in my breasts.

"God, I could take you now." He groaned, his hand moving down to my wet aching core.

"Please Jazz," I whimpered as he cupped me through my jeans.

He sighed and shook his head, starting to move away. Before he could sit up I rolled him over on his back. I straddled him, looking down at his face. His eyes were closed for a moment before looking at me. "I want this. Please, I want you Jasper. All of you. So fucking much."

_Did I really just say that out loud?_ I bit my lip as he looked at me. Even drunk Jasper knew enough how dangerous this was for us, but I wanted this and I wanted a piece of him to hold on to forever. Something that would be only his, and never taken away. His fingers mindlessly drew swirls on my stomach as a smile spread across his face.

"So fucking much, eh?" his voice was rough and sexy. I nodded wordlessly as his fingers moved down to my jeans where he fiddled with my button. "You want this? You want me to take you, right here and right now?"

Again I nodded as my teeth gnawed on my bottom lip. He was so fucking gorgeous with that mischievous smile, I would sleep with him 24/7 just so see that smile. I have never been so forward in my life as I am being right now tonight. I grinded against him through his jeans and his hips bucked toward mine, a throaty moan rose up through his throat. I moaned loudly at the needed friction, God _really _needed friction. He growled as I did it again, "Fuck Bella."

He rolled me over, gripping my thighs keeping them hitched around his waist. I didn't want to lose the feeling. His fingers moved to my bra where he unsnapped the front, releasing my aching breasts. His eyes widened slightly as he looked at my body before he moved up to my eyes. "Well, well Swan," he smiled with a wink before running his nose down my neck until his hot wet mouth came down on my breast while his hand teased the other hardened nipple. I gasped in pleasure and my fingers weaved into his hair.

"Uh, Jazz!" I moaned as I rubbed up against him.

JPOV

I can't believe I'm finally fucking doing this. God she is so fucking perfect. I paused for a moment as I stared down at her body, her teeth bit down on her adorable kiss-swollen lip as I studied her. I shouldn't be doing this, I thought to myself. I had to fight my dick for my heart but I just couldn't clear my head of her. I had only dreamed of her tasting so good. I have wanted her for years, and now she's practically begging me to take her. I wanted to make her mine, I wanted to have her so no one else could. She was mine, she has always been mine.

This is wrong though, we're both just drunk and she's a virgin for Christ's sake. How can I just take this away from her? We aren't even a fucking _we_. Interrupting my thoughts she grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled my lips to hers. So fucking delicious. The tiny voice that my heart argued started to slip into the background as she moved her lips to my ear.

"I fucking swear Jasper," she murmured in a husky voice. "I'll make you regret this if you don't do something."

Fuck that was it. All logic and morals went out the window at that point, I wanted her and she wanted me. We could figure everything out after this. I palmed her through her jeans and she moaned loudly, bucking her hips toward my hand.

"So fucking impatient Bells," I teased in a low voice. "I like that."

She pulls my shirt over my head and I kneel above her, pulling her zipper of her jeans, undoing them so I can peel her pants away. God so fucking gorgeous. I can't even hold myself together enough to wait to rip off her lace thong. She lays there before me naked and she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Her just rises and falls quickly, and the way her whole body flushes under my gaze makes me even harder for her. I'm aching in my jeans for her. She moves and copies my stance, standing on her knees in front of me.

Her fingertips shake slightly as they move to my jeans, but as I place my hands on hers she stops shaking. Her fingers graze my dick and I buck toward her hand, growling. I reach around and grab her by the hair kissing her roughly. With that follows a throaty moan, that's how she likes it. A little rougher. As she pulls away her fingers move back to my jeans where she undoes them, sliding the zipper down painfully slow. That damn smile warms her face as she grazes me. She knows she's teasing me.

After I stand to get out of my jeans and boxers, I growled as I push her back on my bed. As much as I would love to savior the fucking moment, and tease her 'til she screams for me. I was aching for her, and I could tell she was for me. I nuzzled my face in her neck as her hands came and gripped my neck. This is when I get my brain back, I start to rethink this as I hover over her at her entrance.

"Bella, we don't… I mean we should wait. Fuck," I stammer over my breaths. "God Bella what the hell did you do to me?"

She shook her head, her fingers caressing my neck and playing with the tips of my hair. "Jasper, fuck I want you so bad. I'm aching for you. Only you. Why wait? I'm here, now. I'm waiting for you to fuck me. Take me. You know you want to," she taunted. "Fuck me Jazz, make me yours forever."

I groaned into her neck and kissed up her neck. "This is gonna hurt at first, but it's gonna be worth it baby. Okay?"

She nodded as her hands gripped my shoulders. I gazed down at her softly, my Bella before kissing her as I slide into her quickly. I felt her lips stop moving and tears come down her face while I stayed there. I kissed and wiped away her tears, murmuring sweet nothings into her ear. "Baby, it's okay."

Soon her back arches and she kisses me. I look her in the eye before I pull out and push back in. God she is so fucking tight and hot. Her core clenches around me begging for more. Her gorgeous voice fills the air as I please her, and I moan into her body. My thrusts come harder and faster, I can feel her getting close and I'm not far behind. Fuck she is perfect.

"Let go Bells, I promise it's worth it. Cum with me," I murmured as I slid into her once more. Her walls clenched around me, and I felt her release. I groaned and came at the sight of her, at the feel of her, at the sound of her fucking breath. She held on and rode out her high before I kissed her sweetly. I pulled out and rolled down beside her.

She rolled closer to me, resting her beautiful head on my chest, as I reached and pulled the covers over us. Shielding our heated naked bodies, from the chill of the room that would hit soon. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close, feeling my eyes getting heavy. Fuck that was amazing.

BPOV

My fingers ran over his abs and scars before I felt my eyes begin to close. I have never felt so good in my life, was I tired and sore? Yes, but was it worth it? Yes. Jasper leaned down and kissed my forehead softly before laying back with his eyes closed.

"You're perfect Isabella Marie," he murmured.

I bit my lip then kissed his chest as I closed my eyes and let sleep embrace me. What I can't remember now, is whether the next words I say are actually heard or not.

"I love you Jasper. Always."

Waking up as the sun shined on my face, my head was pounding with a severe headache, and I looked around the room trying to figure out where I was. Then I felt his arms tighten around my waist and the memories came flooding back. We had sex last night-and I started it, _let me just pretend_ I had thought. I bit my lip to hold back the tears. I wiped them away swiftly before sitting up slowly careful not to stir him. I managed to get out of bed without waking him, and quickly grabbed my clothes. I slid my jeans one and my bra, but for the life of me I couldn't find my shirt. With a sigh I quickly grabbed his off the floor and it fit my like a dress. His intoxicating scent engulfed me, and I fought the tears again.

I can't believe how stupid I was, I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe he would actually want me. We were drunk, I was drunk and I made a fool of myself. Silently, I took one last glance at Jasper sleeping in bed on this beautiful but awful Sunday morning. The sun lit his body perfectly, the shadows perfect on his chest and his hair fell messily over his eyes. I bit my lips before turning and leaving. How could I have done this?

JPOV (a few minutes later)

Rolling over and feeling nothing next to me almost proved to me it was dream but then I realized I had no clothes on. I quickly shot up in bed and looked around my room. Oh fuck, oh Jesus please. I felt sick to my stomach as I saw her tossed aside shirt by my window. I looked around and saw all her other clothes were gone.

"Fuck," I muttered as I sat up, throwing on my boxers. I walked to the front door quickly see her truck gone and in my rage I slammed my fist against the door.

_SHIT!_ I wanted to scream. I've ruined everything. Everything came flashing back, as I remembered her body against mine, and the feel of being inside her. I leaned against the front door and sat on the ground with hands in my hair. She deserved so much better than that. I ruined every thing, and I ruined her. I took away the most important thing… The thing she was supposed to save for her true love. Fuck me, I'm such an asshole. I've ruined everything and she just ran away.

**Ok so I hope you guys liked it? Its not my best i don't think but I hope it was entertaining enough. Let me know what you think and let me know if you want me to add to this in any way. ok so please review! please! I slaved on my birthday to get this done for you guys! I should get belated presents (I am totally kidding btw) Anyway thank for reading and for all the support you guys are amazing. **


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